Well tonight has been…..hectic, kind of lost for words on how its been.
I’m sitting on my bed, i should be feeling great, a sense of achievement etc, but ive yet to get over the sense of constrained panic.
Although what has led up to this evening has been going on since the first week in January, I wasn’t’ expecting it to hit this much of a high (well rock bottom scary really) point.
This evenings panic started about 5pm as I’m sitting on the company bus to go home and my mobile rings. It was the company that does the verifying people checks for Getronics who employ me to work for Sub Sea 7. I have been in contact with them since the beginning of January. The issue has been one of Identity. The name i was born with i now use again, but for a period of 8 years stemming from Primary 6 to 2nd year of of my degree, i used another last name, keeping my original as a middle name. So my formal ID on my passport is Rowan Evenstar Harding. I then came to my senses (which is a different story, i am enough off track as it is) and ditched Harding, going back to what i was born with ‘Rowan Evenstar’.
Now the problem with this is that all documentation required like bills etc say Evenstar, yet my passport and provisional drivers license are still with the Harding. I havent changed this due to the hassle it takes to get the paperwork from the Registrar, and then mainly getting the Justice of peace to sign it (which used to be between 9am and 10 on a wednesday) but at least now is every morning. Then there is paying for a new passport etc. So ive managed happily for 7 yrs back as Evenstar without needing any bits of paper (as Scotland does not require it)
I have had various employers throughout this period who have never questioned it. There was one problem trying to get a contract phone, and in the end i used my credit card as ID which ive never changed. I never use it, its just there for messing up my credit rating and reminding me i shouldnt have it and should just be payig charges on it, and its helpful when i get a call for ‘Miss Harding’, i know who it is. Sorry, went down a rat hole there. Right so the problem starts when i started working for a different agency in December. I dont understand it, but they required more proof. I said i had a form where i had first changed my name. Forgot about it for 2 weeks, was reminded, went to look for it, couldnt find it. Thought it was ok because i could just get a replacement. No, the Registrar dont keep a copy!? i mean WTF, its meant to be used as an official document and they dont have a copy ? Any how they said they would send me another blank one to fill out then i just had to go in and get it signed. So it arrives…and the format doesnt work since the form is designed to change from your birth name, but i am changing back. So next step is to take in my birth certificate, and they will help me. Can i find that ? no.
So back to this evening. I get a call saying if i cant provide the documentation, i cant be at work. So i promise to find my birth certificate and go to the places i need to in the morning to get whatever and signed by whoever then head into work.
So i spend an hour aat home going through all my paper work.
Piles of paperwork on my bed
No luck, but organised piles and a bin full of crap. I wrack my brain, find a draw full of paperwork which is mainly printed off song lyrics from yrs back, uni notes, postcards etc. But under the postcards i start to find the cards i got when my mum passed away. I’d already had to sift through the heaps of letters and death certificates in regards to the fact which just brought up how much i hated official paperwork. But low and behold, there, stuffed between a postcard of Orkney and a card with deepest wishes, was a folded up bit of off yellow paper. It was my birth certificate. No joy, no sense of achievemnt, i just had thoughts of how damn stupid it was for me to have allowed it to get in such a place. Then even better, i found the actual change of name form i had originally done. Great, should be jumping with joy.
found birth certificate buried in middle
Anyway, i am sure i will be later when im in the pub at the open mic night i havent been at in over a year and was like my version of Cheers, where everyone knew my name.
Im guessing its the fact that i had to suppress all emotions of panic that i might not be able to go back to work, and that i had to stay as calm as possible to most effectively go about what i had to do. Writing this has helped me feel slightly less tense, and it is probably just a very long ramble. But i constantly want to blog my experiences, then i get to the laptop…and dont. so any excuse to try and actually write, i am happy about.
Daffodils on my table to look at after stressful times
Its now time to have dinner and get ready to drink and party for a couple of hours, especially since my brain is only randomly functioning. Article structure has not been thought of in this post.
oh and fingers crossed i can take those documents in tomorrow and all will be well, i can continue in the great job of being IT Store Controller (that is not sarcasm, i like the job and people)
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