Almost new Macbook for sale.
No longer need this macbook due to an upgrade.
Looking for a good home.

White Macbook
£500 ono
Warrenty Expires 25th June 2011
2.4 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor
2 GB of DDR2 RAM (supports 4 GB)
160 GB 5400 RPM HDD
13.3 Inch TFT Widescreen (1280×800)
Intel GMA X3100 GPU (144 MB DDR2 Shared)
Built-in iSight
Slot-loading 8x DVD+/-RW
1 Firewire, 2 USB
Mini DVI, 1000BASE-T LAN, 802.11n Wireless
Max OS X 10.5 Leopard
32.5 cm x 22. cm x 2.75 cm, 2.27 kg

contact zenrhe@gmail.com

Well tonight has been…..hectic, kind of lost for words on how its been.

I’m sitting on my bed, i should be feeling great, a sense of achievement etc, but ive yet to get over the sense of constrained panic.

Although what has led up to this evening has been going on since the first week in January, I wasn’t’ expecting it to hit this much of a high (well rock bottom scary really) point.

This evenings panic started about 5pm as I’m sitting on the company bus to go home and my mobile rings.  It was the company that does the verifying people checks for Getronics who employ me to work for Sub Sea 7.  I have been in contact with them since the beginning of January.  The issue has been one of Identity.  The name i was born with i now use again, but for a period of 8 years stemming from Primary 6 to 2nd year of of my degree, i used another last name, keeping my original as a middle name.  So my formal ID on my passport is Rowan Evenstar Harding.  I then came to my senses (which is a different story, i am enough off track as it is) and ditched Harding, going back to what i was born with ‘Rowan Evenstar’.

Now the problem with this is that all documentation required like bills etc say Evenstar, yet my passport and provisional drivers license are still with the Harding.  I havent changed this due to the hassle it takes to get the paperwork from the Registrar, and then mainly getting the Justice of peace to sign it (which used to be between 9am and 10 on a wednesday) but at least now is every morning.  Then there is paying for a new passport etc.  So ive managed happily for 7 yrs back as Evenstar without needing any bits of paper (as Scotland does not require it)

I have had various employers throughout this period who have never questioned it.  There was one problem trying to get a contract phone, and in the end i used my credit card as ID which ive never changed.  I never use it, its just there for messing up my credit rating and reminding me i shouldnt have it and should just be payig charges on it, and its helpful when i get a call for ‘Miss Harding’, i know who it is. Sorry, went down a rat hole there. Right so the problem starts when i started working for a different agency in December.  I dont understand it, but they required more proof.  I said i had a form where i had first changed my name.  Forgot about it for 2 weeks, was reminded, went to look for it, couldnt find it.  Thought it was ok because i could just get a replacement. No, the Registrar dont keep a copy!? i mean WTF, its meant to be used as an official document and they dont have a copy ? Any how they said they would send me another blank one to fill out then i just had to go in and get it signed.  So it arrives…and the format doesnt work since the form is designed to change from your birth name, but i am changing back.  So next step is to take in my birth certificate, and they will help me.  Can i find that ? no.

So back to this evening.  I get a call saying if i cant provide the documentation, i cant be at work.  So i promise to find my birth certificate and go to the places i need to in the morning to get whatever and signed by whoever then head into work.

So i spend an hour aat home going through all my paper work.  

Piles of paperwork on my bed

No luck, but organised piles and a bin full of crap.  I wrack my brain, find a draw full of paperwork which is mainly printed off song lyrics from yrs back, uni notes, postcards etc.  But under the postcards i start to find the cards i got when my mum passed away.  I’d already had to sift through the heaps of letters and death certificates in regards to the fact which just brought up how much i hated official paperwork.  But low and behold, there, stuffed between a postcard of Orkney and a card with deepest wishes, was a folded up bit of off yellow paper. It was my birth certificate.  No joy, no sense of achievemnt, i just had thoughts of how damn stupid it was for me to have allowed it to get in such a place.  Then even better, i found the actual change of name form i had originally done. Great, should be jumping with joy.

found birth certificate buried in middle

Anyway, i am sure i will be later when im in the pub at the open mic night i havent been at in over a year and was like my version of Cheers, where everyone knew my name.

Im guessing its the fact that i had to suppress all emotions of panic that i might not be able to go back to work, and that i had to stay as calm as possible to most effectively go about what i had to do. Writing this has helped me feel slightly less tense, and it is probably just a very long ramble.  But i constantly want to blog my experiences, then i get to the laptop…and dont.  so any excuse to try and actually write, i am happy about.

Daffodils on my table to look at after stressful times

Its now time to have dinner and get ready to drink and party for a couple of hours, especially since my brain is only randomly functioning.  Article structure has not been thought of in this post.

oh and fingers crossed i can take those documents in tomorrow and all will be well, i can continue in the great job of being IT Store Controller (that is not sarcasm, i like the job and people)

So its late in the day and my head is totally spinning.  I had given myself one project today.  I was to finish my cv, phone the Agency and send the cv off to a company.

Why ? Because my whole life since i was 16 and left school ( i did get highers, i just needed to escape the Lower education system) i have been hopping from job to job with no effort.  I immediately started working for an agency, which i have been with on and off with for the past 10 years.  It taught me lots, like being able to jump into almost any environment and just pick up how things work.  It boosted my confidence and gave me skills i forget are even skills as they are second nature.  But its all been paper pushing, with the occasional actual processing of data. Its been phone calls, and organising…and..well all general office work through various departments & various types of companies.

While at Uni i ventured into retail with the usual barrage of retail outlets like Superdrug, Sainsburys, Haddows, Jumpin Jaks and Chicago Rock cafe.  I got all these basically by chance.  Great skills learnt here as well as someone who likes to do a job well and constantly thinking of improvements.  Even tho it appears none of them care that everything is done badly, same applies for the office world.  CHANGE, they don’t like change, they think it will take too much time and effort to put change into place in order to actually save more time, effort, money and peoples happiness.  But i aspire for improvement.  As a kid i wanted to be a Systems Analyst, through Uni i was constantly taught about improving systems! So, simple jobs, nice basic all rounded skills,  but disheartening of the soul.

At no real point have i gone for a job that i actually wanted.  Bar Office Manager, and Wifi Support. But these were still short lived, tho loved a bit more than the rest.

The question is, what the hell am i doing ?  I tell everyone I’m a programmer and a developer.  Because thats what i feel i am.  Thats what i love in life, the passion that drives me.  I want to create great things, to bring great things to people to make their lives greater.  I will more than happily sit and stress over code into the early hours and love it.  Life needs stress, there is such a good thing as good stress.  Good stress to me is working through something tough for an greater outcome that is more measurable in how it makes you feel than anything else.

But am i doing my porject today to get me speedin gon my way ? No.

I’m still doing what i did since i left Uni.  I’m trundling along doing jobs that barely require 30% of my brain, using the rest of my brain power to be aggravated by how crap the  work is and how the job needs completely revamped with better systems.

And in my spare time i’m dreaming about making great sites, and spending like 5% actually doing it ?  I’m totally mad.

To give myself some credit, ive have picked myself up considerably over the past two weeks and have got back into doing website work while beating off any thoughts that its not good enough in order to keep striving forward.

This would be all well and good if it wasnt for the fact that my lack of real commitment to job hunting/cv finalising etc has left me in a position where i work all week (knowing i finish for good this Friday and ive had two weeks sitting at my desk with all the time in the world do do something) and having to work weekends to bring in the cash.  This has just left me drained.  And back to jumping from highly motivated, to down right drained and just wanting to curl up with an audio book which just saps even more energy.

I want to keep moving forward.  And what i really need to do is have a proper goal.  Not just ‘ I want a computing job and settle down for a bit.  I need to practice what all the self help business books i have preach. Visualising Goals.  I keep running away from that and just try and find tasks to do instead.

Im just annoyed that i basically know what to do, and im not doing it.  And its silly when by not doing things it keeps me unhappy.  Reading Twitter all day is illuminating in many ways i have found, but i’m being silly when i spend time doing it instead of what really needs done.  And trying to justify it to myself.

I have no-one else to prove myself to but me, and thats how i was brought up, and thats how my family still re-enforce it. ‘Do what you want to do, as long as you are happy’.  The things I want to do are those things that will make me happy.  But i’m not doing them. I’m not happy lazing around the house, sleeping pattern topsy turvey, wine bottles filling the bin, cigarettes filling the ashtrays, bills filling the in tray even if i am looking at lovely sights and creations of others….its other people work taunting me that im not doing anything.  I may have got things sorted getting back into 9-5 work, but its still disheartening work, its still taking me no-where.  Life will leave me behind.  Employers will ask what ive been doing with my time.  I graduated almost a year and a half ago.

Ok, i just needed to rant so my head is clearer.  I have a skype meeting later with my lovely friend and graphic designer Ross Sharp (Blog).  Such sessions are always filled with insight, motivation and passion on both sides.  So looking forward to the work we will both get done tonight.  It will hopefully send me to sleep with my head whirling with positivity once again, ready for the new dawn tomorrow where by i can start moving forward.  With a day at work free to work on cv etc, and an evening free to do goal setting, i think it should be good.  Life is always more enjoyable with a positive outlook, no matter what trials and tribulations there may be.

Rant over for now me thinks.

Love and Light All

Zen (Rowan)

I had a request from my graphic designer at www.soulcatchfire.com as i have done some work on his site (yet to be published).

The request was to get the content to be linked to facebook, youtube, stumble, digg, and twitter etc.  And to provide a description of each and to be able to embed links these into certain content areas.

So my serach begins.

I started with facebook, as I myself love that function when reading an article i like and can just send it to facebook for my friends to see too. (something else i miss about my lack of facebook access at the moment.)

Most search paths led me to how to do this with Blogs, i.e. instering code into Blogger and WordPress.com templates.  Now i was seeing it was as simple as a URL and an Img, so i dont understand all the confusing bits other than that.

Bibliography

Adding Digg StumbleUpon del.icio.us Reddit Facebook link buttons to your post - HTML

How to add Facebook social bookmarking icon and script to your Blogger articles - Blogger

Adding Dynamic Facebook Bookmarklets To Blogger Posts – JavaScript

Tried to log in to facebook, ahd already suceeded 4 times previouslt that day.  Then it wont let me, i have to go to the help to find out why. It states i have a false name.

I clicked the email for help button (which didnt work on the mac, so i ust copied the address into Mail and sent :
Hi there,

I have just logged on to facebook for the 4th time today, and it is
telling me my account is disabled.  The reason being it is a fake name.
I do not understand.  The name i use is my real name, the name on my
birth certificate and use.

My login is
********** (hidden that in this blog)
My name is Rowan Evenstar.

Please can you help.

Kind Regards
Rowan

The Response was:

Hi,

Fake names are a violation of our Terms of Use.  Facebook requires users to provide their full first and last names (i.e. no initials).  Nicknames can be used in the form of FirstName ‘NickName’ LastName, but only if they are a variation on your real first or last name, such as ‘Bob’ instead of ‘Robert’.  Additionally, please note that impersonating anyone or anything is prohibited.

If you would like to use this profile again, just get back to us with your real name, and we will reactivate the account for you.

Thanks for your understanding,

Cassidy
User Operations
Facebook

My response:

Hiya,

OK, the name my account uses, Rowan Evenstar, is my correct name.   i was born with it, it use it for everything, there is no ‘nick name’ involved.  Do you need some kind of evidence to prove this ? I cant help that my mother was a hippie and named me after a) a tree (Rowan) and b) a Lord of The Rings character (Arwen Evenstar).  But this is truly my name!  It is what i use on my bank account, bills and employment.  It is on my birth certificate that if u really need a photo copy of i cant email you.  I go under no false name.  I have an internet handle of Zenrhe, which i have used for 10 years, but i am always happy to use my real name.

Please can you sort this out for me, or let me know what i can do.  I would hate to not be able to use facebook, and have been missing it since you disabled my account.  And Bebo is just no-where near as good as yourselves ,i wont mention myspace, im not a big fan of them.  But i assure you that if you can not re-activate my account when my name is not fake, i will have this information sent around every other service, Twitter will have a field day, and it will get to all the major podcasters and beyond.

I appreciate any help.

Also i have heard a rumour that my friend Laura Evenstar, also based in Aberdeen and a friend of mine may have had her account disabled.  This is also her real name, she and her mother changed it by dead poll a while back.  I don’t expect you to look into this also, i just wanted to make you aware.  I used to be a first line support technician, and sometimes i could perform certain when in a good mood.

I must also apologize for the fact im quite drunk after arriving home for the club i work in at weekends – its an excuse to dance and get paid, but is not very good when arriving home to read tweets and then reply to emails.

Thanks you for your time.

Kind Regards
Miss Rowan Evenstar

-god why didnt i wait till i was sober and could read back what i said.

–Update

Hi,

Thanks for providing this information.  At this time, we cannot verify the ownership of the account.  Please send a scanned image of a government issued ID (e.g. driver’s license) to idrequests@facebook.com in order to confirm your ownership of the account.  Please black out any personal information that is not needed to verify your identity (e.g. social security number).  Rest assured that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once we have used it to verify the authenticity of your account.

Additionally, you should make sure to copy and paste all of our previous correspondence into your message when you reply.  Once we have received this information, we will reevaluate the status of the account.  We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Thanks for contacting Facebook,

Cassidy
User Operations
Facebook

——–

Great, i can see me getting aroud to that soon.

After seeing the video of Leo’s new leased work space (like no workspace ive ever seen), finally made it to his blog (friend feed has completely taken over my reading patterns and makign me a bit lost and behind.

Here Leo talks about his plans for the future since the end of The Lab .  Leo is always a man good with words, theres really no way for me to express his intentions in my own words.

You can read his entry here ‘The Next Chapter’.

My favourite quote is “I just want to be able to make a living doing what I love: talking about technology with a community of engaged and intelligent people, and perhaps, along the way, to help people understand how to better use technology in their own lives.”.

This is why i listen to TWiT and Cnet, and follow the Digg people, Jason Calacanis, Chris Pirillo and many more.  Its their passion and love for what they do.  Listening to them always cheers me up and gives me hope that work can really great. Ive always thought this, but after years of temping: doing basic admin jobs, and working in retail, it starts to take it out of you.

Everyone seems to accept that work is bad and being miserable is just part of it.  I never find it easy to accept  this however.  All i see in a job is how it can be made better.  But everytime i express ways to do this, it isnt recieved well.  This is one of the major reason’s i am scared to get a permenant job in computing, because i know i will love it, but i know i will get driven mad by the fact the system wont work and they wont want to make improvements.

But with seeing Kevin Rose on Diggnation, and listening to Leo Laporte, and also Molly Wood, and theres so so many now, has shown me that passion in the work place does exist and can be done.  There is hope!

Here’s to people doing what they love! soon i will be one of them, and at some point be paid for it too!

Jason started a post asking what makes the perfect burger.

There are many good responses which talk about the different meat mix, and how to keep it moist (an icecube in the middle!?).  All the different cooking times, thickness etc.  i like the intergration of cheese into the mix.  Now this information is kind of useless to me as a veggie, but my response was:

(ok its not loaded on the page yet…will update…)

From Leo’s Friendfeed i discovered a great video of him giving a tour of a new premises where he will be starting new video feeds, including TWiT Live (This Week in Tech podcast).

http://leolaporte.smugmug.com/gallery/4558774_8abNq#268659655

Its such a gorgeous place, oozes old style. Not my personal taste at all, but thats because i like modern and cozy, but i can really appreciate this. The amount of woodwork in the place is just stunning, and the antique furniture he’s acquired fits in so well.

Its very bare at the moment, but its great to see how much potential the place has, and to know i can follow in the journey of its transition into something even greater. Im so excited about all the content that is going to be produced there!

Leo has done a lovely job, and i’m gratetful he’s sharing it with us.

Here’s to TWiT live, and many other things.

–

On a side note, i was almost knocked off my seat when the video started.  Its such a crisp, sharp, clear picture which i am just not used to!  I really was stunned by the quality, and then when he turns to the mirror i was also shocked by how small it was, i was expecting the camera to be at least 3 times bigger than it was!  Really impressed, and good to see some high quality footage online for such a thing.

Today i was catching up on Friend Feed as i haven’t had a look at it since Thursday, and i know it will keep me busy all day, and just what i need when im sitting at work feeling really ill and dont want to work out what to look at…i just see what other ppl have written/listed.

The first blog i came accross was one which Robert Scoble had written in response to another article written on TechCrunch (which i had read last week and had no idea what it had been about).  I have found a few times now that i link to an article, and cant quite follow what it’s about, but then along comes a response blog, and through this and usually several overs, i get a bigger picture and actually understand whats going on.

Any way, what Robert Scoble wrote about basically outlines many of the things that I also believe in when it comes to working practice – basically what work should be about, passion and the love for it, and not about the money and running over people into the ground.  I wanted to quote some of the sections, but it was one of these articles where i wouldnt know where to stop quoting, its all so good!

Mike Arrington’s dream team has wrong goal  - (March 20, 2008)

Scoble had the following blog :

The TechMeme killer or the Google Reader killer? 

In reguards to FriendFeed becoming his new home page, and asking if FriendFeed is changing user habits.

My response was:

Ive just started using it, and im loving it. I use google reader, but for a few months now all ive done is add suscuptions as ive been trawling around, and then seen the amount of stuff in it and run away. Building up the courage to start wading through it.

I find it great linking to posts i see in friend feeed, i now start my morning off with that : ) definately changed my habits.

But looking forward to SocialThing! to come out of private beta.

Comment by Zenrhe — March 20, 2008 @ 2:55 am